I am so sorry to all three of my loyal fans that have been pestering me to update my blog. There were several reasons for the delay, one being that the internet in India sucked and two being that I sincerely had no time. I finally got a full eight hours of sleep after a very long time and am now ready to share my experience of India. I have decided to make two posts on India (cause it’s such a big damn country) so this one will be about Mumbai-Chiplun-Goa and the next one will be on Delhi-Agra-Jaipur.

I get off the airport in Mumbai and I feel this gust of wind that smelled like sweat and urine. Being in Karachi for the last couple weeks I was used to the sweat in the air, I guess this time the urine was an added bonus. There was a man who was supposed to pick me up so I was looking for my name in the midst of all these white boards. Unfortunately I didn’t find my name so I started walking around like a hopeless idiot. This guy approaches me and is like:

“Vhere you go”
“Who are you”
“I am airport official, you give me your bag we will go together”
“No thank you, why don’t you go away”
“Sir, I am airport official, my id number is 23768 I am official, why you not believe me”
“Ok how bout you find me a phone”
“No problem sir, I don’t ask for money, this is my job, come with me”
“Ok thank you for finding me a phone”
“So sir, where you from, England”
“No I’m from Canada”
“Sir do you have any Canada change you want to give to me”
“I thought you said, you would not ask for money”
“Sir not for money, for hobby, I collect foreign change”
“hahahaah yeah right, (I pat him on the back) Jeethai Ro” (Live Long) and walk away
Whispers “Banchot” (Go F your sister)
“WHAT”
“Nothing sir, safe journey”

That was my first interaction with an Indian, it felt like Pakistan so I felt at home. I finally got hold of my driver and he turned out to be the most important person to me on this trip.

Hussain was his name, and traveling was his game. It was as if he was sent by God to take care of me. If it weren’t for this guy my whole trip in India would be unorganized and I may not have come back. I had no idea who this guy was but he ended up organizing my whole trip for me which involved my itinerary, accommodations and transportation. I seriously had nothing planned when I got to India so it’s good I crossed paths with this man.

We stayed at the YMCA Mumbai for the first couple days and it was lots of fun. The people from Mumbai are really chilled and surprisingly very nice and honest. No one tries to cheat you (like that airport official). My first day there I chilled with the cell phone guy and he ended up offering me a cold drink and later invited me out for lunch. We chilled for a couple hours and during that time so many people joined our conversation. They all thought I was Kashmiri or Arab, and they ended up calling me a Cocktail because they thought I was a mix of some sort. I assured them I was from Luknow, India and they definitely knew I was lying hahaha. We hired a Taxi for a couple days and the driver was unbelievable. He was great, he always had a smile of his face and was willing to go anywhere for us. Again the people of Mumbai are awesome.

We did lots and saw lots but the one thing that Ill remember is how I asked every other random where I could get beef. Hahaha. For those of you who do not know, the Cow is a sacred animal in the Hindu religion and therefore beef is hard to find in India. But since I was a born meat eater I needed my beef fix so I asked around and you would be surprised how people reacted. Most people would get so scared and tell me to keep it down, a couple guys gave me a shifty look and told me to come by later, and others would get offended. Below are pics of Mumbai.

I told Hussain that I really wanted to get the local feel while on my trip. I guess he literally made my request come true and invited Mehvash, Sharon and I to stay at his house in a village named Chiplun. Chiplun is so random that not even Indians from the region don’t know where it is. We took a train there and Mehvash and Sharon were cursing me under their breath because it was probably the most random thing we had ever done. First of all I don’t even know this Hussain guy and second of all what the hell is Chiplun. We thought that when we woke up the next morning our kidneys would be missing. But (alhumduallah) nothing happened. His family was really hospitable and other than taming the squatter toilet everything went smooth. Only problem was that after 2 hours in the Village we had nothing to do, so the day went really slow. Beautiful place, check out the pics of Chiplun below.

We took the train further south to Goa. Most of you probably know about Goa but if you don’t it’s a coastal state that is just beautiful. It was a Portugese colony for a long time and recently became a part of greater India. We sat on the beach for most of the time and the breeze and sunset was unbelievable. Unfortunately I was surrounded by a bunch of beach boys (Indian style) that were probably the creepiest people I have ever met. These guys were like hounds, they would sense a flirty tourist from a mile away. They would come meet the flirty girl and start talking to them, and eventually sit on their bench. As the conversation progressed they would pat the girl on the back as a “friendly” gesture. It was disgusting. And the weirdest thing was, these Europeans would love it. They would flirt right back and the beach boy would feel her up even more. And the dirty part was, word would get out fast and pretty soon every beach boy in the area would have their turn. It was so weird. But I would be lying if I said that the beach boys were the weirdest people on the beach. The Eurpoean foreigners were so bizarre. We saw two nudist that looked like whales every day on the beach. It was scary enough that they were nude but to top it off these ladies had piercings all over (and I mean all over). They also had tattoos on their lower back and for some reason Mehvash could not stop looking at them. Anyways Goa was still unbelievable, had a great relaxing time there and I would recommend anyone to go there.

Next Post: Golden Triangle (Delhi-Jaipur-Agra)